When In Rome
July 17, 2008
Which of these should I be more horrified by:
A) I actually bought Birkenstocks even though I still cringe at the memory my stoner-hippie high school boyfriend and his gnarled white feet in maroon Birkenstocks. Tis true, love is blind.
B) Both pairs of shoes purchased today are patent leather. I’ve also bought four other pairs of patent leather shoes in the last seven months. What kind of person buys 7 PAIRS of patent leather shoes in 6 MONTHS? Someone who really likes shiny objects and needs to get around leaving the damn cows alone and learn to appreciate vegan footwhere.
C) I was reading Bitter is the New Black today, and at the part where the author makes fun a frou-frou snobby coworker by saying something along the lines of, “Josh only talks to other Harvard alums. Josh has his head up his Brooks Brothers attired ass. Josh fantasizes about Alan Greenspan,” I thought, “If fantasizing about Alan Greenspan is wrong, I don’t want to be right!”
D) Speaking of wrong, I find myself strangely attracted to Brett Michaels of Rock of Love fame. I know, I know. I’d like think that it’s just because his tanned leathery skin reminds me of a beautiful handbag, but I’m afraid this river runs deeper than that.
Elle
I, too, cannot stop buying patent leather shoes. Not just black but all colors. And pointy-toes ones, too. Oh, lord. I think it’s because we secretly want people to be able to see the reflection of our pretty panties in our feet.